October 19, 2008
August 03, 2008
10 Tips for Approaching Single Women
What do you do when you see a woman you are attracted to? Do you run and hide? Do you use some canned line that you read on the Internet? Do you stand there in fear trying to think of the right thing to say? What is the right thing to do?
When approaching a woman, most guys make the mistake of thinking too much about what to say. They believe there's one magic line that will work in all situations. They rehearse this magic line, and when they deliver it, they hope the woman will become instantly attracted to them.
Unfortunately, rarely does this approach work -- because most of what you say is irrelevant. To catch a woman's attention, it is all about the confidence you display when approaching her.
Here are 10 surefire ways to intrigue her every time:
1. Observe something. Make a comment about something you observe in the environment. This is especially effective at the grocery store. For example, if she is ordering a turkey sandwich, ask her if the turkey is good here.
Make your comment immediate to the situation and it will seem perfectly natural. No matter where you are, there is always something interesting to comment on.
2. Smile. This shows her that you are friendly and confident. A genuine smile not only feels good to you, but will put her at ease while creating openness in the interaction -- a requirement for building rapport.
3. Do not hesitate. If you hesitate in your approach, this tells her that you are not feeling confident -- an immediate turn-off. When you see her, walk over to her within a short period of time (the three-second rule). Show her you are a man who knows what he wants and goes after it.
4. Positive body language. If you approach hunched over with your head down, you are sending negative information about yourself, which makes you dead in the water before you begin. Stand up straight, with shoulders back and chest out, and use a firm yet relaxed walk.
5. Not too fast. If you walk over too fast, you could likely trigger her internal alarm. A calm, casual approach is usually the best way to make her feel at ease with you.
6. Keep eye contact. Never be the first to break eye contact when you approach. If you do, this sends the message that you are not feeling good about approaching. When you use strong eye contact, she will feel more drawn to you. With practice, you can master this.
7. Listen up. Make sure you pay careful attention to what she says. Do not have your response pre-thought out. Women love a man who pays attention to the details of what she says. If you start throwing out random words, she will lose interest fast.
8. Do not fidget. Fidgeting after you approach is distracting and shows you are uncomfortable. If you communicate that you are uncomfortable, she will feel uncomfortable, too, and will close up. Practice being aware of your movements. Pay attention to those movements, or lack of movements, that communicate comfort and confidence.
9. Lighten your tone of voice. The tone of your voice is a very powerful tool. Approaching her in a light and playful tone is one of the best ways to start. You could also begin in a serious tone, accusing her of something like "
I hope you saved some turkey for me," followed by a quick smile to let her know you are joking. Practice playing with your vocal tone with your friends -- notice the different reactions you get when you say the exact same thing using varied tones and fluctuations.
10. Lean away from her. A man who leans in too far when he talks often makes a woman feel crowded. A better approach is to lean away from her slightly. This lets her know that you respect her space, boundaries, and are comfortable with yourself.
The key to making these tips work for you is putting them into practice! Practice these tips and see the reaction you get. When you put them all together, you will be surprised at their power. Read More......
Six Relationship-Ending Dating Behaviors
Finding the one to share a relationship with is a blessing. Once you've bonded with this special someone, keep in mind that respecting your partner's privacy and retaining trust are essential to maintaining a healthy relationship. If you cross certain behavioral boundaries that violate your partner's trust, you may cause irreparable damage to your relationship.
As a dating coach, I'm not usually a fan of hard and fast "rules" for relationships. I've, nevertheless, identified widespread behaviors which will likely end any relationship. So to help you ensure that you don't breach the "trust" boundary in your relationship, here are six detrimental dating behaviors that should always be avoided:
1. Prying into private info. If you suspect your partner of betrayal, does that give you the right to start reading your partner's email? To listen to his/her voicemail messages? To hack into his/her online profile? The answer to all of these is "no!"
You should never dig through your partner's personal emails or listen to your partner's voicemail messages.
You should never dig through your partner's personal emails or listen to your partner's voicemail messages. By doing this, you violate not only your partner's trust, but also the trust your partner has with anyone who left those voice messages and emails.
2. Lying for the greater good. Lying is never good in a relationship, although we've probably all been guilty of doing it. Lying to your partner in an effort to avoid hurting him/her or to avoid confrontation may seem like a wise decision. Regrettably, you will end up digging a deeper hole for yourself when that lie is exposed, which is almost always inevitable. When caught in this situation, you end up hurting your partner anyway, and whatever you were trying to protect your partner from -- by lying to them -- will be even worse because of your deception. I recommend honestly communicating with your partner from the get-go.
3. Pulling a "James Bond." You should never snoop in your partner's private things (drawers, wallet, filing cabinet, or private records -- such as bank or credit card statements). Furthermore, nothing justifies snooping. No matter what you have a "hunch" about, snooping through your partner's things should never be pursued to confirm or deny your hunch. Your partner's possessions and personal records should be kept private unless he/she gives you permission to look at them. Spying on your partner is one of the most blatant violations of your partner's trust and will achieve nothing except having your partner never trust you to be alone near his/her things ever again.
4. Designating yourself "Magnum P.I." Another ill-advised way some people try to verify suspected bad behavior by their partner is to take on the role of private investigator by attempting to "catch their partner in the act" of doing something. Whether this takes the form of searching for your partner's car by driving by his/her house, work, or gym or it takes the form of following your partner in your car, this is something you should never do. Even if you have a convincing hunch that your partner is hiding something from you, stalking is the wrong way to address it. If your partner finds out you've been "tailing him/her" in your car, he/she will no longer trust you.
5. Sending others to do your dirty work. Don't ever send a friend or anyone else to gather information for you about your partner or to spy on your partner for you. This means, don't send a friend to go hang out where you know or suspect your partner will be. Don't have your friend try to eavesdrop on your partner's conversations in places he/she goes. Don't ask your friends to use their cell phone to snap covert pictures of your partner. All of these favors from friends not only violate your partner's trust, but also reveal your total lack of trust in your partner.
6. Checking up constantly. One of the biggest ways to reveal that you don't trust your partner is to manifest that distrust with paranoid and obsessive behavior. While calling your partner regularly is quite normal, calling him/her incessantly to "check up" comes off as obsessive and will drive your partner away. If, for example, your partner is unable to answer his/her phone for a few hours and by the time he/she accesses it he/she discovers you've called 50 times, you not only come off as being paranoid and obsessive, but you clearly communicate to your partner that you distrust him/her. Also, when you panic every time 10 minutes go by without a reply from your partner by a phone call or an email, it sends the exact same message.
So even if you have some type of "intuition" that your partner is hiding something from you, it's better to engage in a confrontation with him/her openly rather than searching for answers secretly. Even if your partner doesn't respond to your attempts to talk about it the first, second, or third time, chances are that you'll eventually discuss it -- and the outcome of voicing your suspicions honestly with your partner will always be better than if your partner discovers you engaged in any of the behaviors I've talked about.
No matter how much love exists in your relationship, it cannot survive without trust.
No matter how much love exists in your relationship, it cannot survive without trust. Violating someone's trust will never take a relationship to a better place. In fact, by doing so, you may very well be single-handedly orchestrating the end of what could have been a fantastic relationship. Also, keep in mind that I didn't mention the most obvious relationship-ending behavior to avoid: cheating. Read More......
March 21, 2008
6 Clues that she is interested in U
By Lisa Jones
In the dating game, I
want you to win. But I fear failure. Yours. Mine. Ours. When it comes to dating, women are judge and jury, but the testimony we hear—mostly from our hearts, but also from our Greek chorus of girlfriends—will all take place out of your earshot. The rules are unwritten (until now), but they are set in stone.Give us a really good reason, however, and we'll toss the tablets aside, along with most of our clothing and inhibitions. We hear every message you send—intentional or not.
So your attitude is nearly everything. We want you to show a certain degree of eagerness, but not desperation. We want you to believe in yourself and demonstrate why we should believe in you, too.
We want you to be spontaneous, but also a man we can count on. The list on the left will show you how to handle all the objections we might have.
1.The Signals
I've already sent you the Zoolander eye lock, the eyebrow raise, and/or at least two smiles (full, open-lipped, teeth smiles). Come over here and talk to me already. Caveat: There's a small chance I just think you're funny looking, but go ahead, have some balls. I'm worth it.
2.Say Anything
Convince me (quickly). Once you have the green light, it doesn't matter what you say first. You now have 5 minutes to convince me to keep talking. Make the most of it. Don’t strain for a joke, don’t feed me a line, don’t try to impress me with a compliment or intellectual insight. Just talk to me like a person, which is what I am.
3.Get Her Number
Give me a reason. If you want my number, say something simple and direct. "You're fun. Can I give you a call?" works. Pound the number into your cellphone, or borrow a pen from the bartender. (It's your job; you're the asker.) And later, ask me, don't "e" me or text me. Don't be a wuss. If you want to see me, pick up the phone. E-mails can wait for later.
4.The Phone Call
Obey the 2-day-rule. If you call within 24 hours, you'll seem desperate. If you wait 3 days, I'll be annoyed that you purposely waited 3 days. So call on day 2. One of two things will happen: 1. I'll pick up. You say, "Hey, Lisa Jones, this is Will—the guy you danced to 'Blue Monday' with on Saturday night. How was the rest of your weekend? I want to see you again. Are you available on Wednesday? There's a new tiki bar/restaurant/museum exhibit I've been meaning to check out." 2. You'll get my voice mail. Identify yourself and your intentions. Then make sure to say these crucial words: "Sorry I missed you. Give me a call back. Otherwise, I'll try you again, and we can make plans." This allows you to call back without wondering whether I got your message.
5.Your Plan
Remember, a man plans ahead. If you want to see me this weekend, call me by Thursday, please. If you want to see me naked tonight, call me before you're drunk at 1 a.m. Don't ask me to "hang out." When you ask me to "hang out" and it's just the two of us and you don't have a girlfriend (or boyfriend), I assume it's a date. To avoid confusion, say, "I'd like to take you out" instead of, "Wanna hang out?"
6.Quitting Time
If you call me twice and get no callback, game over. Don't keep calling, e-mailing, or sending flowers. In Meg Ryan movies, or when Keanu Reeves performs them, these gestures say "bold romantic." In reality, when you do them, they say "stalker."
Read More......5 Secrets for Better SEX!
By: Nicole Beland
It's 4 a.m. and I'm drinking Blue Moon beer at an off-campus house party with a University of Florida senior nicknamed Tones. Tones shares the house with his brother and three friends. He has spiky, blond hair, and has let his kimono hang open, revealing a pair of package-hugging briefs. A few girls in matching minidresses are perched on the edge of a pool table, wondering aloud whether they should change into T-shirts for a soak in the 12-person hot tub. Others jam to Guitar Hero on a huge TV, mix drinks in the kitchen, or smoke while watching YouTube videos in one of the bedrooms -- which is outfitted with a vibrating, adjustable, memory-foam mattress.
Tones shows me his tattoos, then stares into my eyes, as if to say, "Wouldn't it be fun just to disappear for a second and bone in the shower?" Maybe it would be fun. But I'm 10 years his senior (and engaged), so I excuse myself to watch animated penguins lip-synch to rapper Soulja Boy on someone's 17-inch MacBook Pro.
This is the sort of scene most grown men described when I asked them to look at their college days in a rearview mirror. They told me about parties fueled by cheap booze, big speakers, and ample student bodies. They quoted Old School. They wallowed in Girls Gone Wild-style highlights. And then, inevitably, they said something like, "If only there were a way to recapture that magic."
Here's the thing: You can. Recent research suggests that there's more to the college sex scene than free-flowing alcohol and runaway hormones. I visited a handful of campuses and talked with experts around the country to figure out those secrets. What follows is your five-point plan for re-creating the steamiest parts of your undergrad experience. Read More......